Ladies and gentlemen. I'm sorry to inform you that this entry is going to be a very articulate rant. Partly because I was up really late last night filming for Most Spooked Live and watching The New Statesman, and partly because today has been so BORING that i've ended up sitting around watching the music channels with Jamie all day, which is where the idea for this rant arose.
The articulate rant is entitled: Why the fuck is music so shit nowadays? And is split into the following genres:
Emo
Indie
Punk
Metal-actually-no-just-Trivium
Rap
And finally the conclusion.
Unfortunately for you guys who are reading this, you might disagree with some of the things i'm saying and you can't really do anything about it besides leave me a note stating that fact (which i'll probably ignore anyway) However, you lucky people who get off your chops about what i'm saying have the close button to satiate your anger ^^.
If you don't like it. Don't read it. Mm'kay?
So Emo. (Also, a lot of people are all "EMO ISN'T A MUSIC GENRE!" Well. Piss off for a bit, it's easier to categorize this sort of music as emo rather than "that whiny shit that makes you want to kill yourself.")
Anyway. Emo. Now this doesn't apply to everyone of course. (The stereotypes I mention.) Why would you want to be interested in music that's so depressing? People say that music speaks to them and the lyrics in emo music is just like what they're going through. Alright fair enough, someone understands your problems, but do you really want to be reminded of these problems every time you listen to a band? If some random person came up to you and started whining and complaining about their life, you'd tell them to get fucked! Emo music is basically that in song form - so why is it so popular?
Why do most of the people who listen to emo music change? Is there a rule in the emo handbook that "thee must become lodged securely up thy own arsehole and be extremely self-obssessed!" I mean what? Suddenly they can't listen to anything that hasn't been made by a guy who spends his day looking into the mirror and practising his pout.
And what's with the emo kids calling everything besides what they like "mainstream"? First of all, that is the most idiotic reason you can come up with to not like a band. It's basically saying that you don't listen to them because.. Other people do. What? And secondly.. Hello? Watch a music channel! Read a music magazine! Emo music is one of the biggest genre's around! Fall Out Shit? Avenged Sevenshit? My Chemical Bullshit? These bands are everywhere! And guess what! They're all SHIT! Then fans of these bands suddenly have the nerve to call others "mainstream"? FUCK OFF! Say no to emo!
Onwards to Indie.
After the "emo trend" came to a slow, MTV2 turned it's attention to 'Indie' and suddenly overnight kids with A Flock Of Seagulls haircuts and 4 belts around their butts were somehow changed into curly haired ratkids from Blaby who've all, incidently, liked Indie music for years.
Why do all these Indie bands look and sound exactly the same? It's like, listen to one and you've listened to them all. Hell, follow a lad from Blaby around all day with a guitar melody on loop in the background and you'll get the same effect. You can change the look, but you can't change the attitude. It's a crime to listen to anything that isn't Indie, in the Indie kid world. Unfortunately, many of these people seem to like a lot of music from other genres.. The solution? Claim it's Indie, of course! Watch an "Indie Countdown" on VH2, or "Indie Rocks!!!11!!!one!!" on MTV2.. Nirvana? Motorhead? Geez, just admit you like other genre's already! How about instead of labelling everything as Indie just say you like a variety of music!
"Indie kids" need to tear their heads out of their arses long enough to watch any other channel than MTV2.
Now for punk... What can I say? What happened to this genre? The old punk legends were raw and imaginative. They wanted a good time and weren't afraid to speak out for what they believe in, no matter what the consequences.
Nowadays, you have these Kerrangly dubbed "New Wave Punk Bands" taking a long piss on what was once a brilliant genre. New Wave Punk is a load of BOLLOCKS. Open your eyes! It's basically repackaged emo! It's those stuck up arseholes who claimed to be "hardcore" rather than "emo" who have somehow amassed a following from the American Idiot generation. The bunch of kids who think Green Day are soooo punk because they spoke out against Bush when nobody else would.. Erm.. What? Hello? Rage Against The Machine? Manic Street Preachers? The Dixie Chicks? Do any of these ring a bell?
Now, you're probably confused, because i'm a huge fan of Green Day. But let's face it, they ARE pop punk. They're American! They can't help it! American punk (with a few exceptions) basically is pop punk! I don't have a problem with that.. But what I do have a problem with is these clueless little "punk-rawkers!!!11!" who think they know all about American politics because Billie Joe told them Bush was bad!
Punk is over, and these "new wave" pop acts are simply taking a shit on its memory.
The metal-actually-no-just-Trivium rant isn't very articulate but i'm going to write it down anyway because it's funny. This is actually how it's written on the page:
Trivium suck.
Fuck off Matt Heafy.
You are NOT James Hetfield.
You will NEVER BE James Hetfield.
You might as well be a Metallica tribute band.
You can not out do them.
Neither can you be them.
Fuck off!
And as for the rap rant.. Well, isn't it obvious what's wrong with that?
Anyway, we've reached the conclusion. We're not asking you to change your music style. Just think about what we've said. Instead of listening to what you're prescribed on television, try going out and discovering a new or unsigned band. You never know what's going to happen or who you're going to meet! (*cough* The Zico Chain *cough*) Listen to different bands, bands you can't categorize. Sigur Ros, Royksopp.. Be different!
.. Otherwise we'll be getting more Piss! At The Disco's... And nobody wants that!