It's been far too hot to do anything interesting recently. I went to the pub earlier for Dan (Jamie's little brother) because it was his birthday.. I didn't get him anything though. Haha.
Then before that Nicola and I decided that Rik Mayall has a perfect penis. Yes, that's right. It's freakishly normal and perfect.. That's a long story that grew from us writing a letter to Barr (that company that makes Irn Bru) telling them to mix Irn Bru and Tizer together. It went something like:
Me: Darling Facist Bully Boys.
Nix: Give us some Tiz Bru! Or else!
Me: You bastard!
Nix: Hm... They might not get that if they haven't seen that Young Ones episode..
Me: Hm.. Dear Mr. or Mrs. Barr, go and watch that Young Ones episode where Vyv things he is pregnant but it just turns out he has gas, then read the rest of this letter!
Nix: Give us some Tiz Bru!..Etc.
Yes, my new template is finally COMPLETE! I thought it was missing something..
Anyway. I'm going to shut up now and post something great. It was written by a guy called Marc, whose literary skill, wit and intelligence far surpasses anybody elses. And i'm not just writing that because i'm going to show him this entry. Really... Well maybe just a little. Hehe.
Okay here's some things you should know. One, he wrote it for a joke, so don't get all spazzy on me, okay? And two, HE wrote it, so if you do feel the need to get off your chops about it, then please direct all messages to me but addressed to Marc ^^.
Here we go =D.
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We all see them, every day, whether it be at school, work, on the street or in our nightmares. They come in so very many shapes and forms-
Fat
Ginger
Disfigured
Bald
Squinting
Buck-toothed
I speak; of course, of ugly people. Society's scourge; the debt Eve bought us with Original Sin.
We can never go anywhere without being besieged by sour eyecandy. Well; I say anywhere; there is always Los Angeles; where they have had the ingenious enlightenment of making corrective plastic surgery mandatory for anyone registering more than a six on the East European Woman scale.
But elsewhere, we live defenseless and under unceasing visual assault.
And what's more; when we see these abominations unto The lord, we are EXPECTED to be polite and understanding; it is considered WRONG of us to take the first look at their ghastly disability and heave into the gutters.
What is it about that moral code that is supposed to make ANY kind of sense?! Are we THAT hung up on protecting the FEELINGS of a few genetic inferiorities? Is it really that essential to preserve the dignity of certain creatures who "have a great personality" and by all rights should have been drowned at birth?
Well I say no more- these disasters of procreation, insults to the miracle that is the creation of life, DO. NOT. MATTER. They do not count as people.
Because, let's face it, ugly people just don't go to heaven. Now, before I have the outcries of protest and unfairness at this statement, just do me a favour and think about it a moment. Don't dismiss it as ridiculous; really consider it. Heaven is supposedly paradise, right? Everything is perfect, and our every desire and dream are catered for. And these people; let's affectionately dub them "Uggoes", are, all joking aside, simply displeasing to look at. So if they were to go to heaven with the rest of us, we would have to look at them, which would cause us displeasure; which would mean that heaven would cease to be paradise and therefore by its very nature would cease to exist.
Think about it. Before you degrade yourself by giving one of these mutations the time of day, or a polite nod, think about what they are really worth to the advancement of the human race- we don't WANT their genes passing into the next generation and creating more little baby Uggoes.
So point and laugh at them. Segregate them on the playgrounds, cause them to develop eating disorders and self harm problems. Make them walk on the opposite side of the street to us, make them give up their seats on buses to us, deny them the right to eat in the same restaurants and go to the same schools as us. Hell; go the whole hog and forbid them to leave their homes in the daytime.
Logic dictates that we should treat them as the second class citizens that they are.
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Isn't that awesome?!
Zico Love x