Vyv: I've got a leg!
Mike: You know Vyvyan, that's not really unusual
Vyv: No, no! *produces a severed leg wrapped in bandages* I've got a leg! I'm supposed to write an essay on it... But I think i'm just gonna stick it on the bonnet of my car!
Hehehe, me and Jamie must've quoted that a billion times today.
We had humanities today and Ray still wasn't there. We had this theory that Ray (the teacher) and Stu (the helper) are a couple. But they had an argument and Ray hasn't been in school for the past week. Stu took us for the lessons and he was all like "tourism is just destroying the environment, and the environment tries to put up with tourism but tourism will just keep coming and coming until the environment will JUST LEAVE!" Erm, we think he's the environment and Ray is tourism.. Lol.
So today we were supposed to do an end of unit test, but no one took it seriously and we all ended up chatting. It sort of went like this:
Me: Blah blah The Young Ones blah blah Green Day blah blah The Sex Pistols
Lewis: Did you hear that thing about The Sex Pistols being banned from playing 'God Save The Queen' on land for the Queen's jubilee so they got a boat and went down the river Thames playing it instead.
Everyone: Hahahahaha. Jolly funny.
Jamie: So if they were banned on a boat too, would they get a helicopter and fly it over Buckingham palace?
Lewis: Isn't that illegal?
Me: Y'wha?
Lewis: STUU!! Isn't it illegal to fly over Buckingham palace?
Stu: In certain places yes. If you're at a certain height..
Me: Will they shoot you down?
Stu: Er.. Probably yes
Me: What if your aeroplane is in trouble and you can't help flying low?
Stu: You contact them with your..
Me: What if the radio is broken?
Stu: Well, they'd probably deploy a fighter jet to escort you and see if you were a threat
Me: What if, when the jet pulled up alongside you, you were having some sort of fit and they thought you were a terrorist?
Stu: What is the chance of that happening?
Me: Worst case scenario mate!
Lewis: We were talking about The Sex Pistols playing God Save The Queen on a boat 'cause they weren't allowed to play it on land.
Me: Hey Stu, weren't you born on the same day as the Queen?
Tasha: Stuart is the Queen?
Me: Yes.
Lewis: Stu are you the Queen?
Stu: .. I.. Wha...Bu..?
Jamie: It sure is taking you a long time to formulate this lie you're about to tell us
*Stu goes and sits down*
Me: Stu?
Stu: Yes?
Me: You didn't answer our question.. Are you the Queen?
Stu: No!!
Jamie: Took you long enough to answer
Tasha: But Stu is 51! and The Queen is 80!
Me: 51? Flip off! He's not 51!
Tasha: Yeah... 39 years between them!
Lewis: But that would make the Queen 90..
Tasha: ... Oh i'm gonna fail my maths exam!
And that was the conversation in Humanities! It was funny ^^.